What is emotional intelligence and why is it important?

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Emotional intelligence (EI), also known as emotional quotient (EQ), refers to the ability to recognize, understand, manage and act effectively on one's emotions and the emotions of others. This intelligence includes a set of skills and characteristics that are very important for individual and social success.

But these skills come more naturally to some than others. The good news is that with a little effort you can improve your emotional intelligence.

The first step is to understand your emotions and what you need to manage different situations. Doing so requires radical emotional awareness and confronting parts of yourself that you may not like. This process of self-discovery can be scary. But it is worth it.

You will learn to take better care of yourself, including your mental and emotional health. And then you'll be better equipped to extend that emotional support to others.

There are different types of intelligence, but what is emotional intelligence? And how can you develop yourself?

Let's get into it.

What is emotional intelligence?

Psychologist and author of the New York Times bestseller, Emotional Intelligence, Dr. Daniel Goleman, states that emotional intelligence is the culmination of a group of skills: self-awareness, relationship management, and social awareness.

Furthermore, there are several schools of thought about how emotional intelligence works. Simply put, the concept of emotional intelligence describes your ability to:

Understanding, assessing, expressing, and regulating your emotions. If you are angry about something your boss said in a meeting, emotional intelligence promotes the self-regulation necessary to discuss how to defuse the situation.
Understanding, interpreting and responding appropriately to other people's feelings. If your colleague has died in the family, emotional intelligence can include providing comfort and support and covering their workload while they are grieving.

For some, these abilities don't come naturally. Most of the time, they need a lot of self-exploration and self-knowledge.

As you begin to understand yourself better, this knowledge becomes a framework for your interpersonal relationships. You can better support a grieving colleague because you know how a similar event affects you and your emotions.

And if you get to know the person well, you may realize that what you need is not what they need. Your emotional intelligence helps you to react to the situation.

What is lack of emotional intelligence?

Lack of emotional intelligence can appear in different ways. Here are some common signs and behaviors associated with low emotional intelligence:

Difficulty in recognizing and expressing emotions:

People with low emotional intelligence may have difficulty identifying and expressing their feelings. They may not be able to describe how they feel or why they feel that way.

Poor impulse control:

People who have low emotional intelligence may have problems in managing their desires and react impulsively in emotional situations. This can lead to anger, overreactions, or rash decisions without considering the consequences.

Insensitivity to others:

People with a low emotional quotient may pay less attention to the feelings and needs of others. They may inadvertently ignore or underestimate the feelings of those around them, leading to strain in relationships.

Difficulty in empathy:

Lack of empathy means that a person has difficulty in understanding and communicating with others emotionally. They may not be able to put themselves in other people's shoes or appreciate other people's views and feelings.

Ineffective communication:

Weak emotional intelligence can lead to problems in effectively communicating thoughts and feelings. This may lead to misunderstandings, conflicts and breakdown of communication.

Difficulty in resolving conflicts:

People with low emotional intelligence may have difficulty in resolving conflicts constructively. They may escalate conflicts, refuse to address issues, or deny that they have a role in the conflicts.

Limited social skills

Low EQ can hinder the development of social skills necessary to create and maintain healthy relationships. This may include difficulty building relationships, cooperating, and working with others.

Difficulty adapting to change

People with low emotional intelligence may struggle with change and may resist it, which can hinder personal and professional growth.

Stress and burnout

Lack of emotional intelligence can make people more prone to stress, because they may have trouble managing their emotions and challenging situations.

Poor leadership and teamwork

In leadership roles or team settings, individuals with low emotional intelligence may have difficulty inspiring and motivating others, resulting in ineffective leadership and reduced team cohesion.

Examples of emotional intelligence

High emotional intelligence looks a little different from person to person. Typically, they are empathetic, understanding and agile. Here are some ways these competencies and other related characteristics can exemplify high EI:

Active listening: A person with high emotional intelligence listens carefully and empathetically to others and makes them feel heard and understood.

Empathy: They can put themselves in the shoes of others, understand and share their feelings, which helps build strong and supportive relationships.

Self-regulation: People with high emotional intelligence can manage their emotions effectively and stay calm and rational in stressful situations.

Conflict resolution: They are skilled at resolving conflict by addressing underlying emotions and finding mutually beneficial solutions.

Motivation: Those with high emotional intelligence are self-motivated and can inspire and encourage others to achieve their goals.

For a clearer view of how emotional intelligence can be understood in everyday life, here are three real examples of high emotional intelligence in action:

An example of emotional intelligence in conflict resolution:

In a team meeting, two colleagues disagree about a project. A team leader with high emotional intelligence steps in to facilitate the discussion. He listens carefully to both parties, validates their feelings, and helps people identify common goals. By identifying the emotional aspects of the conflict and guiding the conversation toward a solution, the team leader helps resolve the issue amicably and maintains a positive work environment.

An example of emotional intelligence in customer service:

A customer calls a customer service representative and raises a complaint. A representative with high emotional intelligence listens carefully to the customer's concerns, accepts his discomfort and empathizes with his situation. He remains calm and composed even in the face of a challenging interaction. By showing empathy and willingness to solve the problem, the agent not only solves the problem, but also makes the customer feel valued and satisfied.

An example of emotional intelligence in leadership:

A manager with high emotional intelligence leads a diverse team of employees. He knows the individual strengths and weaknesses of team members and knows how to effectively encourage and support each person. By recognizing and appreciating the feelings and needs of his team, the manager creates a cooperative and harmonious work environment that leads to increased productivity and job satisfaction among team members.

In these examples, people with high emotional intelligence demonstrate the ability to deal with emotional situations, build positive relationships, and lead and influence effectively. Their skills in recognizing, understanding and managing emotions lead to successful outcomes and stronger interpersonal relationships.

The positive effects of emotional intelligence:

Developing your emotional intelligence requires work, but it will have positive effects on your work and personal life:

- Some research shows that emotional intelligence leads to better social relationships in children and adults.

- People often have positive perceptions of those with high emotional intelligence.

- According to a 2017 study, higher emotional intelligence is associated with improved job performance.

- Emotional intelligence can make you a better leader and colleague.

- By increasing your emotional intelligence, you will establish closer relationships with your friends, family and colleagues.

- Emotional intelligence can help you set healthy boundaries at work.

- Your motivation can also improve.

Possible negative effects of emotional intelligence:

Having high emotional intelligence has many benefits, but it may also have disadvantages. Here are some of the disadvantages:

- People with high emotional intelligence may be successful in building relationships and cooperating with others, but they may have problems in thinking outside the box and generating creative ideas.

- People with high emotional intelligence may agree with compromising actions or be tempted to manipulate others because of their ability to understand other people's feelings.

- People with high emotional intelligence may have difficulty making tough decisions or choices that go against popular opinion because of their desire to maintain harmonious relationships.

To fully develop emotional intelligence, you will go through nine stages. Each step builds on the previous one and takes the shape of a pyramid. When you reach the top of this pyramid, you have developed healthy emotional skills that allow you to connect more deeply with yourself and those around you.

Seyed Kamal Rafiei

life improvements

May 30, 1404