Author: Adele Faber and Elaine MazlishTranslation: Shirin YazdaniPublisher: Armaghan GilarDate of publication: II 1392Number of pages: 192

Reading this book will help parents to answer the question "How do I talk to children to be effective?" to answer This book presents the scientific and psychological principles of parent-child communication in simple and practical language and teaches parents skills to better understand their children and communicate with them more effectively.

How to talk to children so that they listen to us

The book shows that success in communicating with a child depends not only on verbal skills, but also the ability to create a safe space, empathy and real attention to the child's feelings. In other words, the more parents can make eye contact, gentle touch, and positive body language, the more children will listen to their parents and understand their messages better.

Effective techniques to attract the child's attention

Attracting the child's attention during conversation is one of the main challenges of parents. By using appropriate methods, it is possible to focus the child's attention and convey important messages to him. Some of these methods are:

1. Direct eye contact: When your child is talking to you, looking them directly in the eye makes them feel valued.

2. Using the child's name: Calling the child by his name draws his attention and shows that you are fully aware of him.

3. Reduction of distractions: Turning off the TV, phone and other distractions helps the child focus on the conversation.

4. Using an attractive and diverse tone: A monotonous tone makes the child tired and inattentive; Changing the voice and tone of the message makes it more attractive.

5. Expressing a short and simple message: Long messages cause confusion and decrease the child's attention.

6. Using positive body language: Smiling, leaning towards the child and moving hands increases his attention and participation.

7. Creating gentle physical contact: Gently touching the child's shoulder or hand during conversation increases the feeling of security and trust.

8. Praise and praise when paying attention: When a child listens, praise will encourage the behavior to be repeated.

9. Using stories and concrete examples: Examples and stories related to the child's world make the parents' message more understandable.

10. Choosing the right time to talk: When the child is hungry, tired or nervous, he is less likely to listen.

Common mistakes of parents

Many parents make mistakes in talking to their children due to bad habits that prevent effective communication and listening to the child. Some of these mistakes are:

• Speaking in a commanding tone

• Ignoring the child's feelings

• Interrupting the child

• Using complicated or long words

• Compare the child with others

• Talking too much without a chance to answer

• Punishment or threats during conversation

• Inconsistency in messages

• Not paying full attention when speaking

• Expect rapid behavior change

By avoiding these mistakes, parents can establish sincere and effective communication with the child and convey their messages better.

Listening to the child's feelings

The first chapter of the book emphasizes that children like their parents to listen to them and sympathize with them. Parents should learn the following skills to understand their children's feelings:

• Listen carefully to the words of the child

• Acknowledge and understand the child's feelings

• Respect the child's feelings

• Avoid immediate advice when the child is angry

• Name the child's feelings

• Showing understanding of the child's wishes and desires

Like adults, children do not like to be advised when they are upset or nervous. They want to express their feelings to calm down.

How to encourage our child to listen more

In order for children to listen more to their parents, you can use the methods described in the second chapter of the book How to talk to children.

Description of conditions and situations

Parents should explain the situation and the problem they are in to the child, without using the pronoun "you". This method makes the child not feel that he was condemned and listen to you more easily.

Practical example:

• Instead of saying: "You have to wash the dishes!"

• Say: "When milk spills on the floor, we must clean it so that the floor is not slippery."

Provide sufficient information

When the parents explain the existing conditions to the child, the child feels that they have won the parents' trust and respect him. Example: "If you wash the fruits before eating, they will stay healthy and you will not get sick."

Short message and telegraphy

Instead of long explanations, convey short and direct messages. For example, instead of saying, "Sarah, wash the dishes," the mother says, "Sarah, the dishes!" This method makes the child understand the concept and act faster.

Expression of parents' feelings

Parents should show their real feelings to the child so that the child also understands the parents' feelings. Example: "Now is not the right time to read your essay, because my attention is elsewhere." I will come after lunch and read your essay."

Leave a note for the child

Writing a short note to a child, even if he is illiterate, creates a positive connection and increases his sense of worth. Example: leave a small note with an emoticon or a picture: "I would like you to show me when you put your books in order."

Alternative methods of punishment

Punishing a child causes feelings of anger, hatred and guilt, and the child may repeat the bad behavior.

Instead of punishment, the following methods can be used:

1. Providing a solution: "If milk spills, let's get a towel together and clean it up."

2. Showing your disapproval: "I don't like you seeing trash on the couch when it gets dirty."

3. Statement of expectations: "I expect you to put the toys away after playing."

4. Education on how to compensate: "When you wash the dishes, now you can dry them."

With these methods, the child learns to take responsibility for his own behavior and gain a sense of self-confidence.

Independence of children

In the fourth chapter of how to talk with children, the importance of creating independent and responsible children is mentioned.

Parental skills to increase child independence

1. Give a choice: "Which outfit would you like to wear today?"

2. Appreciate the child's efforts: "I know tying shoelaces is difficult, but after some practice you will succeed."

3. Ask less questions: Avoid constant questions about school and friends.

4. Don't give a quick answer: give the child a chance to find a solution by himself.

5. Encouraging the use of other resources: "You can get help from the library or the Internet to solve the problem."

6. Never give up: let him experience new skills and tolerate minor failure.

Praise and praise

Encouraging children increases self-confidence and positive self-image. Parents should specify the details of the child's positive behavior. For example: "You are very well dressed and your shoelaces are properly tied."

With precise and detailed encouragement, the child learns that his positive behaviors are valuable and effective and this feeling is transferred to the environment outside the home.

Creating a positive mental image in the child

For the child to have a positive mental image of himself:

1. Give the child a chance to show his abilities.

2. Create situations so that he finds a positive attitude towards himself.

3. Hear positive feedback from parents.

4. Treat the child the way you want him to treat you.

5. Pay attention to the successes and important moments in the child's life and celebrate them.

Summary and key points

Book How to talk to children practical and scientific solutions for:

• Creating effective communication with children

• Getting the child's attention

• Hearing and understanding the child's feelings

• Encouragement and positive praise

• Raising an independent child

provides.

By following these principles, parents can create a safe and supportive environment for their children and strengthen their sense of worth, self-confidence and responsibility.

For more help, you can use the experts of the John Ziba Psychology Clinic, who can provide online consultation in less than three hours.

Effective techniques to get the child's attention (continued)

In addition to the things mentioned before, parents can also use the following methods to increase concentration and attract children's attention:

1. Using games and interactive activities:Playing with a child is not only fun, but also serves as an educational and communication tool. By playing, the child learns to listen to the rules and participate in social interactions.

2. Break the message into small steps:If the parent's message or request is long and complicated, the child may get confused. Divide the message into small steps and present each step separately.

3. Creating fixed routines:Daily routines help the child know when to listen and when to be free. For example, set a specific time for studying, playing and talking with parents.

4. Repeating the message in different ways:Children may not hear or forget the message once. It is better to repeat the message in different ways; For example, both verbally and using pictures or notes.

5. Encourage active participation:Ask the child to participate in decisions, even small ones. This makes him feel that his opinions are important and he listens to his parents more carefully.

Common mistakes of parents in talking to children (continued and expanded)

Knowing common mistakes helps to communicate better:

• Ignoring the mental state of the child:Sometimes parents talk without paying attention to the mental and emotional state of the child. If the child is tired, hungry or angry, it is better to postpone the conversation to a suitable time.

• Unrealistic expectations:Expecting a child who does not yet have enough skills creates tension and lowers self-confidence.

• Constant comparison with others:Comparing a child with his peers or siblings causes jealousy and lower self-confidence.

• Lack of clarity of messages:When parents express their message in an unclear way, the child does not know exactly what to do. It is better to have a short, clear and practical message.

Helping children express their feelings

Expressing emotions is one of the important psychological skills that parents can strengthen:

1. Feeling Naming:Help the child identify and name his feelings. For example, say: "I see that you are angry because your toy broke."

2. Validation and acceptance of feelings:Even if the child's behavior is not appropriate, his feelings are valid and should be accepted. This makes the child feel psychologically safe.

3. Teaching the appropriate expression of emotions:Teach the child how to express his anger or sadness in a correct and healthy way. For example, using paper and drawing, or expressing verbally in a respectful way.

4. Active listening:By listening actively and without judgment, parents show the child that his words are valuable and taken into consideration.

Methods to encourage children to listen

Encouragement is a powerful tool for increasing children's cooperation and listening:

• Explaining circumstances and reasons:Explain to the child why it is important to do something, rather than just giving orders. For example: "When we organize toys, they are easier to find later."

• Express short and clear message:Long messages reduce concentration. It is better to have a short and direct message.

• Sharing parents' feelings:Expressing parents' real feelings helps the child have a better understanding of the importance of the message.

• Notes and written messages:Writing a short note to your child is a simple and effective way to convey a message. Even if the child is not fully literate, you can use shape and image.

Alternative methods of punishment

Instead of punishment, alternative methods are more effective:

1. Proposing a solution and choosing:Give the child the opportunity to find a suitable solution or choose one of the options.

2. Express opposition and expectations in a positive way:Show the child that you disagree with his behavior, but instead of punishing, teach the method of correction.

3. Apply natural consequences:Let the child experience that every behavior has consequences. This method makes learning responsibility.

Education of independence in children

Independence is one of the important character traits that parents can strengthen with the following methods:

• Allowing to choose:Give the child a chance to make decisions, even in small things like choosing clothes or food.

• Encouraging and praising the effort:Instead of focusing only on the result, praise the child's effort and skill.

• Allow experiment and error:Allow the child to experiment and learn from his mistakes.

• Encouraging the use of other resources:Encourage the child to use different resources to solve problems, such as books, the Internet or consulting with adults.

• Creating a positive mental image:The child should have a positive mental image of himself. Parents can help with this by encouraging, praising and correct.

How to encourage our child to learn and cooperate

Parents can increase the child's interest in learning and cooperation with simple but effective methods:

1. Motivating children:Children are more motivated to listen to their parents. Different methods can be used to create motivation, such as praising the child's efforts, giving small rewards or creating attractive challenges.

2. Encouraging active participation:Instead of imposing tasks, involve the child in the decision-making and problem-solving process. For example, in cleaning the room, let the child choose which part to clean first.

3. Using games and interactive activities:Learning through games makes the child pay more attention and learn lessons more easily. Group and interactive games also strengthen social skills and cooperation.

4. Set small and achievable goals:Instead of pushing for big goals, set small and achievable goals. This work increases the child's self-confidence.

The role of parents in shaping the child's personality

The child's personality is largely influenced by the behavior and attitude of the parents. Paying attention to the following points can be more effective:

• Positive Behavior Modeling:Children imitate their parents' behavior. If the parents themselves are patient, orderly and positive, the child will also learn the same characteristics.

• Effective and respectful communication:Communication with the child should be based on respect and empathy. Not only the words, but also the tone, behavior and body movements of the parents are influential.

• Creating a safe and supportive environment:The child should feel supported and accepted at home. A safe environment makes it easier for a child to express his feelings and needs.

• Strengthen problem-solving skills:Instead of immediately solving the child's problems, guide him to find the right solution on his own. This work strengthens independence and self-confidence.

Practical techniques for communicating effectively with children

Some techniques are very simple but effective:

1. Determining the right time to talk:Times when the child is calm and ready to listen are the best opportunities to talk. For example, after a game or a short rest.

2. Active and non-judgmental listening:When the child is talking, listen without interrupting or judging. This will make the child feel that his words are valuable and will be more willing to listen.

3. Using positive tone and body language:Body movements and tone of voice should be in harmony with the message. Smiling, eye contact and using a friendly tone attract the child's attention.

4. Repeating messages in different ways:To make sure the message is understood, you can use different forms such as pictures, notes or games.

5. Break the message into small steps:Break long messages into short parts so that the child can understand them more easily.

The role of praise in the development of a child's personality

Defining and praising correctly strengthens the child's self-confidence and positive mental image:

• Encouragement based on effort:Instead of focusing only on the result, praise the child's effort and perseverance.

• Explain the reason for praise:When giving praise, explain why the child's behavior or effort is valuable. This makes the child understand the reason for its importance.

• Praise social skills:Praise not only individual skills, but also social skills such as cooperation, empathy, and participation.

• Encouraging to try again after failure:Show the child that failure is an opportunity to learn and he can try again.

Anger management and children's negative behaviors

Parents can create a safe and supportive environment by managing negative behaviors:

1. Expression of parents' feelings:Instead of punishing, convey your feelings to the child. For example, say: "I get upset when toys fall on the floor."

2. Apply natural consequences:Let the child experience that every behavior has its own consequences, such as a broken toy or loss of a chance to play.

3. Offer the right solution:Show the child how he can make up for his mistake.

4. Preventing the repetition of negative behavior:With training and practice, the child learns what are appropriate and inappropriate behaviors.

The importance of independence and responsibility

Independence and responsibility are important skills that prepare the child for social and professional life:

• Permission to make decisions:The child should have the opportunity to make decisions in small matters and experience the consequences.

• Encouraging problem solving:Instead of immediately solving the child's problems, encourage him to find solutions on his own.

• Creating opportunities to experience success:Create opportunities for the child to experience their skills and succeed.

• Strengthening self-confidence:By encouraging, defining and creating independent opportunities, the child's self-confidence increases.

• The role of empathy in communication with children

  Empathy is the key to effective communication with children. When parents empathize, the child feels safe and valuable:

  • Recognizing the child's feelings:Try to understand the reason for the child's upset or anger. Even if the cause seems small, it is important for the child.

  • Express empathy verbally and non-verbally:You can show empathy by saying things like, "I know you were upset when your toys broke." Body language such as gentle touch, smile or kind look is also important.

  • Avoid scolding:Scolding reduces a child's trust and willingness to listen. It is better to focus on problem solving and training.

  • Transform negative emotions into learning:Help the child learn from his negative emotions. For example, when the child is angry, talk to him about ways to calm down and solve the problem.

  Using stories and concrete examples

  Real stories and examples can make parents' messages understandable and attractive to children:

  • Storytelling:You can use short stories to convey moral or educational messages. Example: instead of saying "You shouldn't hurt others", tell a story about a child who behaved kindly and got a good result.

  • Using toys and tools:To teach concepts, you can use toys or tangible tools. Example: To explain cooperation, build a structure using blocks and show how teamwork works.

  • Everyday examples:Using real and everyday situations for teaching will better engage the child. Example: When the child does not put things in order in the store, talk to him about order and responsibility.

  Creating a positive learning environment

  The home and classroom environment plays an important role in a child's attention and learning:

  • Quiet and distraction-free environment:For conversation and learning, a quiet and low-distraction environment is suitable.

  • Variety in activities:Combining games, practical exercises, reading and creative activities helps maintain the child's focus and interest.

  • Encouraging social participation:Children learn social skills and cooperation through group activities and interaction with others.

  • Creating routine and structure:Having specific time for reading, playing and talking creates order and a sense of security in the child.

  Parental stress management and its effect on the child

  Stressed parents cannot communicate effectively with their children. Parents' own stress management is very important:
  • Calmation methods:Practicing deep breathing, meditation or light exercise can reduce stress.

  • Allocating time for parents themselves:Parents also need to rest and have fun. When the parents are calm and balanced, the child is also calmer.

  • Exemplifying appropriate behavior:The child imitates the behavior of the parents. When parents deal with others calmly and respectfully, the child also learns the same behavior.

  Teaching responsibility through participation in housework

  • Explaining the importance of work:Show the child what effect every work has. Example: "If we wash the dishes, the kitchen will stay clean and we will all eat more easily."

  • Encouraging and appreciating the child's effort:Even a small effort should be praised so that the child gets motivated.

  Teaching problem solving and decision making

  Problem solving training increases the child's independence and self-confidence:

  • Presentation of the problem in simple language:Explain the problem in short and understandable sentences for the child.

  • Inviting the child to provide a solution:Encourage the child to find a solution and give an opinion.

  • Guide to the right decision:If the child's solution is not suitable, check together why and make a better suggestion.

  • Praise for making the right decision:When the child makes a good decision, be sure to praise and encourage him to repeat it.

  The importance of teaching emotions and empathy

  By learning to manage emotions, children can better communicate with others:

  • Recognizing his own and others' feelings:Help the child to recognize his own and others' feelings.

  • Express feelings with words:Teach the child to express his feelings with words instead of negative behaviors such as yelling.

  • Strengthening empathy:By showing concern and compassion for others, the child's empathy skills are strengthened.

• Strengthening children's social skills

  Social skills help children to interact well with others in the community and school environment. Parents can strengthen these skills with practice and support:

  • Encouraging group play:Group games such as football, brain games and joint crafts teach cooperation skills, turn taking and conflict resolution.

  • Modeling appropriate social behavior:The child imitates the behavior of the parents. Show him kind behavior, respect for others and use polite sentences.

  • Practice expressing opinions and listening to others:Teach the child to express his own opinions and listen to others. This work makes the child to be respectful and respectful.

  • Encourage helping others:Small tasks such as helping a classmate, neighbor or friend strengthen empathy and responsibility skills.

  Teaching decision-making and problem-solving skills

  Problem solving skills help children become independent in life:

  • Setting real problems:Give the child real everyday problems and ask him to find a solution. Example: "If your ball falls in the street, what will you do?"

  • Guidance and feedback:After the child has expressed his solution, give feedback and show the positive points and improvement of the solution.

  • Encourage experimenting and making mistakes:Encourage the child to learn from his mistakes. This will increase his self-confidence and decision-making skills.

  • Creating a safe environment for making mistakes:If a child can make mistakes in a safe environment and try again, his motivation to learn and listen to parents will increase.

  Avoid comparison and punishment

  • Not comparing with others:Comparing a child with his sister, brother or friends will reduce his self-confidence and he will listen less to his parents.

  • Non-punishing and offering solutions:Solve problems by talking and offering solutions instead of punishing. Example: If a child breaks a toy, show him how to fix it or find a suitable replacement.

  • Explaining the cause of the wrong behavior:Explain to the child why his behavior is wrong and what are its effects. This makes the child understand and correct himself.

  Using psychological techniques in conversation

  The book How to talk to children so that they listen to us teaches simple but effective psychological methods:

  • Feeling label technique:Help the child identify and name his feelings. Example: "I see you were upset when your toy broke, right?"

  • Positive behavior reinforcement technique:Praise quickly and accurately when the child does the right thing. This will cause repetition of positive behavior.

  • Indirect language:Instead of using direct grammatical sentences, use indirect language so that the child does not feel pressured or blamed. Example: "When the milk spilled on the floor, what can we do to clean it?"

  • Short message technique:Instead of long explanations, keep messages short and clear. Example: Instead of saying, "Please put on your clothes and tie your shoes before we go out," you can say, "Clothes and shoes!"

  Strengthening independence and self-confidence

  • Allowing choice:Allow the child to make decisions about his own routine. Example: "What would you like to wear today?"

  • Encourage effort and practice:Encourage the child to try, even if the result is not perfect. Example: "I see you practiced a lot to tie your shoelaces, great!"

  • Creating opportunities for small successes:Small successes strengthen the child's self-confidence and make him listen more to his parents.

  Creating a positive mental image of yourself

  • Emphasis on strengths:Help the child recognize his strengths and be proud of them. Example: "You are very creative when you paint, you choose colors beautifully."

  • Encouraging positive behavior:According to positive behaviors, the child feels successful and tends to listen to parents' advice and guidance.

  • Creating a supportive environment:The home environment should be safe and supportive so that the child can develop self-confidence and not feel worthless in the face of failure.

  Communication with experts and psychologists

  For parents who need professional advice, seeing a psychologist can be helpful:

  • Online consultation:With a reputable psychology clinic, you can communicate with a psychologist online.

  • Selecting the type of communication:Parents can choose the method of communication (phone call, video or message).

  • Get practical guidance:The psychologist can provide practical techniques to improve your child's listening and increase his cooperation.

  Summary

  The book How to talk to children so that they listen to us, written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish, offers practical and scientific solutions for parents to:

  • Listen to the child and empathize

  • Convey short and clear messages

  • Avoid punishment and offer solutions instead

  • Strengthen the child's social skills, decision-making and independence

  • Build self-confidence and a positive mental image in the child

  By implementing these principles, parents can create a safe, supportive and educational environment for their children and raise obedient, independent and confident children.

Why don't children listen to us?

Children usually do not listen to their parents not out of disobedience, but for various reasons such as not understanding the message enough, being tired, needing attention, or the wrong way of talking to them. When parents speak in a commanding, aggressive, or reprimanding tone, the child focuses on the negative feelings and resists instead of hearing the content. Also, if the parents are not consistent in their words or are not good listeners, the child feels that his words are not important and reacts negatively. Effective communication requires empathy, attention, and appropriate expression so that the child listens eagerly and cooperates.

When should I talk to my child so that he listens to me?

Timing plays a very important role in talking to the child and sometimes it is best not to talk in some situations. When the child is tired, hungry, angry or playing, it is possible that your message will not be received properly or even cause resistance and inattention. Also, when the child's emotions are very intense, it is better to let him calm down first and then talk patiently. Choosing the right time to talk is part of the art of effective communication, which makes the child listen to you with an open mind and focus better and show more cooperation.

Comments (111)

1. 

   Ismat Akbar Mojni

   1401-02-16 Answer

   In the name of God, I think that what makes a child listen to his parents is love and respect, that is, if a child is loved and respected in his family and his parents love him, it makes the child reciprocate the love of his parents. I read that in my name, we have emphasized the point that you should love your children, which has a wonderful effect. We do not mean to overdo it, but to be intense in your love, that is, to love with all your heart.

2. 

   Ismat Akbar Mojni

   1401-02-16 Answer

   In the name of God, I think that what makes a child listen to his parents is love and respect, that is, if a child is loved and respected in his family and his parents love him, it will make the child repay the love of his parents, that is, in repaying the love of his parents, his obedience will increase because he feels that the parents who love him want his good. In a book that I read that in my name, we have emphasized the point of loving your children, which has a wonderful effect. This does not mean that we should overdo it, but be intense in your love, that is, love with all your heart. Have you ever asked yourself why our children listen to the words of the host and the words of the aunt of the children's program, but the answer to this question boils down to loving our children.

3. 

   Zahra Dawoodi

   12-24-1400 Answer

   Parents, especially fathers, often spend very little time with their children in a day to talk to them, citing issues such as busy work, fatigue and financial problems. Let's think for a moment, isn't it for the child's future that we try and work? We know that all parents love their children, but sometimes we forget that apart from financial issues, our child's soul and spirit also needs to be strengthened and paid for. If we can learn the right way to speak to children, they will learn to speak right from us. It is true that being a parent is one of the most difficult jobs in this world, but it is also very important to consider talking to the child despite all the fatigue, as well as listening to his words and wishes. This request from the child that whatever you say and want should be done, can mean to him that you do not care about him and that you do not pay attention to him, and in reality, this is the same, that is, his opinions and thoughts are not important to us! So he will not pay attention to you and respect you. To raise children correctly and better, we need to spend time, not summarize everything in yes or no, take time to answer their many questions and answer them with complete and relevant patience. Children like to be valued by you, in fact, everyone wants this. Show your child that you are really paying attention to what he is saying. Working and spending time with your mobile phone, watching TV, talking to your friends and other things distract you and the child sees and understands this. But if you can't listen to your child, don't pretend to. Listening to your child's words will create self-confidence and the child will feel valued. Children do not have our mental preoccupations and conflicts, so they have more space in their minds to pay attention to their surroundings and imitate their parents. In other words, all their attention is on your behavior and speech, and whatever you do and whatever you say, you will soon receive the same from your child. Your good behavior with your child will teach him how to treat you and others. If you lie, your child will start lying too. If you are a well-spoken person, you will see that your child will also be sweet-talking. Don't forget that consistency in good behavior is also a criterion, that is, if you expect your child to always tell the truth, you should not tell the truth once and lie once!

   Let's help children talk, talk to us, so that they don't suffer from various personality denials and self-censorship in the future, their childhood dreams and paradise will always be with them, and they won't be victims of continuous inhibitory actions and actions with bad effects.

4. 

   Akram Ebadi

   12-14-1400 Reply

   There are simple strategies that, if you use them consistently, your child will learn the skills necessary to become a "good listener". Do not forget that it is never too early to teach a child! A child of this age may not be able to listen to your words as well as a 5-year-old child, but he can still hear words to a great extent. 1_ To talk to the child, be at his level Sooner or later, all parents understand that talking to a child while you are standing and he is sitting on the floor rarely has the right effect on the child. Of course, if you start talking or shouting from another room, you will get less results! Sit on the floor in front of the child or hug him so that you can look directly into his eyes and draw his attention to you. 2- Speak clearly Speak clearly, simply and authoritatively. If you delay talking about a topic too much, the child will not pay much attention. If you use too many words, the child cannot easily understand the meaning of your words: "It's really cold outside." You have been sick recently. So you should put on your jacket before we go to the store." On the contrary, a sentence like: "You should put on your jacket" is clear. If your child has no other option and can only do what you want, it is better not to raise your sentence in the form of a question; For example, "It's time to sit in your seat in the car" is much better than saying "Let's sit in the car, okay, dear?" 3_ Execute your words; Quick! Make it clear to the child that you will do exactly what you said; And don't make threats or promises that you can't keep. For example, if you say to your two-year-old child: "You should also drink milk during dinner", do not change your words five minutes later and do not offer, for example, fruit juice instead of milk. If you warn him that "if you hit your brother you must stay in your room for half an hour" when he does that, really send him to his room for half an hour. Make sure that your spouse also approves your work and respects your decisions so that you do not destroy each other's work. 4-Reinforce your message and words. In most cases, it is better to reinforce your words and message by doing some practical things, especially when you want to discourage your child from doing something that is attractive to him. For example, say: "It's time to sleep!" Then use a visual cue (turning the light switch on and off), a physical cue (put a hand on his shoulder and slowly turn him from his doll towards you) or guide him to the bedroom (take him to the bedroom, draw the curtains and prepare the pillow). 5. Give a warning. Give him a warning before you change his position or position or before you ask him to do something, especially if he is playing with a doll or a friend. For example, before leaving the house, tell him: "We have to leave in a few minutes." When I call you, you must collect the painting supplies and wash your hands." 6_Encourage him and give him motivation. Yelling and giving orders may make some children listen to you, but none of them like it. Most children respond best to your requests when you treat them with humor and good manners. 7. Try to give him realistic instructions. If you tell a two-year-old to put away his toys, he'll look around the room and reply with a shrug: Oh well, oh! Instead, give him a specific task. For example, first tell him to collect the yellow blocks, then turn this into a game: "Now collect the blue blocks". If young children see that you listen to them carefully and well, they will also learn listening skills better. Try to get used to paying attention to your child's words with the same respect you give to adults.

5. 

   Sarah Khosravi

   01-11-1400 Reply

   Establishing the right relationship with the child is very valuable. It is especially effective in the child's personality and way of thinking. Parents should spend a lot of time on this issue to get information and train themselves to be a good parent and be patient in dealing with the child. So that the child is satisfied with the relationship he has with his parents

6. 

   Tahera Rajabalian

   28-10-1400 Reply

   In my opinion, the best solution for a child to listen to their parents is that first of all, parents should learn communication skills that include speaking and listening well, because children are not naturally against listening, it is the parents who should know that the way a child listens is different at every age, so first you must learn to speak well so that listening well will follow. hit

7. 

   Pirhiati

   27-10-1400 Reply

   To have a good relationship with the child, we must devote enough time to our conversation. Let's listen carefully. Use positive sentences. Don't forget eye contact. Do not threaten the child. Strengthen the child's sense of worth and... This is how we can hope for a good relationship between ourselves and the child.

8. 

   Pour Ahmad Aghdam Sea

   27-10-1400 Reply

   Greetings Communication with the child from the very beginning of development is the most important task that parents should do well. Parents, by communicating and empathizing with their children, give them self-confidence to build a successful future for themselves. In my opinion, because every child lives and grows in a special environment, referring to a counselor and psychologist can be the best option so that according to the child's mood and the counselor's experiences, the best solution for this issue will be provided.

9. 

   Shaghaiq Khademi

   27-10-1400 Reply

   Hello, at your service The book was excellent Talking and arguing with a child requires skill because children at home are shaped by the way their parents treat them, and perhaps parenting plays a very important role in the child's destiny.

10. 

    Sina Rahmanzadeh

    27-10-1400 Reply

    How to talk to children so that they listen to our deletions: Since it is difficult to establish a relationship with a child, even if it is simple, and it requires skill and intelligence, it must be controlled because children at this age quickly record tips and behavior in their minds and take examples. Therefore, parents should be the best role models for their children and pay great attention to their behavior in order to ultimately educate the future maker of their society in the best possible way. Children should be loved in their own language.

11. 

    The legend of Shibani

    27-10-1400 Reply

    Greetings. In my opinion, it takes a lot of skill to communicate with a child, because children have a hard time communicating and then they imitate him very quickly, so parents should be the best behavior model for their child and pay a lot of attention to him and talk to him gently and in a child's language, and also try to strengthen the child's self-confidence from childhood so that he can be an exemplary and successful person in the future.

12. 

    F. Shahcheragh

    26-10-1400 Reply Hello. What points should we pay attention to when talking to children? Make eye contact and then speak When talking to the child, you should be on the same level with him and look him in the eyes. Call your baby's name To start talking to your child or asking him to do something, start by calling his name. Be frank when talking to the child There is a simple rule for a child to listen to you well; Go to the point from the beginning and use single sentences When talking to children, use simple and understandable expressions Ask the child to repeat your request again If he was unable to repeat it, it was too long or complicated. When talking to the child, make a request that he cannot refuse If you express your request to the child with a reason that is in his interest, it is likely that your request will not be rejected. Be positive and use positive words when talking to children. Begin grammatical sentences with I want Use if, then sentences when talking to your child Give children the right to choose Pay attention to the child's age and level of understanding when talking to him Talk to your child socially Calm the child first, then talk. Calm the child by talking
13. 

    Mahdia Mollah Mohammad Khansari

    26-10-1400 Reply

    Hello and thank you for this book, and I have a strong opinion on one subject, and that is the tone of our speech. The tone of our speech has a definite effect on our child's learning to speak. If we talk to a child who is aggressive or whines constantly that toddlers will behave this way according to their nature, with a sharp and aggressive tone, the result is obvious, the situation will only get worse! So, when the child calms down, talk to him and find solutions to deal with our child's whining. Also, the rise and fall of our voice should be very coordinated and suitable for the situation, so if we always shout and shout, we should stop this habit because maybe our child will look at us and imitate our work.

14. 

    Zeinab Taheri Fouladi

    26-10-1400 Reply

    Hello, you see, talking to a child at any age has its own special way, for example, when you are a child, you should listen to them carefully. understand the child and love him and we must correct their behavior with the necessary disobedience without these disobediences affecting their personality and good language has a great effect on the child's hearing, for example, instead of a command sentence, we can say "You can't play with flowers at home, you can play with flowers in the alley"

15. 

    Kowsar Darvish Khadim

    26-10-1400 Reply

    Greetings. Children imitate their parents or the person who spends most of their time with them, so how to deal with the child and communicate with them is very important. For children, you should spend a lot of time and pay attention to their wishes and words, and talk to them with the same childish tone. In fact, whatever pattern or behavior we expect from the child, we must first observe that pattern or behavior in dealing with him that will become the queen of his mind and do it.

16. 

    Fateme Anuri

    26-10-1400 Reply

    Hello Thank you for introducing this book. Communication between parents and their children at any age requires skill, even in understanding feelings and interests. By saying positive and energizing sentences to our children, we give them motivation and self-esteem, and they can appear in society with confidence. This book is very suitable for fathers who spend less time with their children.

Leave a message Cancel Answer