What is your spouse's love language?

**What is your spouse's love language?** Taken from the book "Five Languages of Love" by Gary Chapman, translated by Amir Hossein Razavi Khorasani The desire to experience love in marriage and life has deep roots. Many books have been written about love because keeping love alive in life is something that should be taken seriously. Most of us learn the language of our parents or relatives, which is our mother tongue or primary language, and we may learn other languages ​​as well. However, we speak and understand our mother tongue more easily, and the more we use our second language, the easier we can communicate with it. Love also has its own language that can be learned and strengthened by practicing. Psychologists have come to the conclusion that the need for love is the first human emotional need. There is a strong need within us to be loved by another person. Of course, it should also be known that love, as important and beautiful, can also be confusing and misleading. By knowing the love language of ourselves and our spouse, we can eliminate misunderstandings to a great extent. In this article, we examine the five main languages ​​of love. **The first language of love: defining and confirming verbally** People whose love language is praise and verbal approval receive love mostly through the auditory sense. If we want to show our love verbally, we must use loving words. ** Linguistic love for your wife ** is something that depends on the way you speak, like the phrase "I love" that if it is expressed with kindness and compassion, it is an expression of love and affection, but if the same phrase is expressed as a question, its meaning will change entirely. How we speak is very important. A soft response or response can remove anger and a harsh response can make the situation worse. One of the things that is recommended especially in a joint life is that couples talk to each other in an appropriate and loving tone. That's why you should know **What is your spouse's love language?** Bad things and mistakes are forgotten in love. In love, past failures are not remembered. None of us are perfect. None of us always do the best or the right thing in our life together, sometimes we do things or say things that hurt the ones we love. We cannot erase the past, we can only admit and accept that we made a mistake and ask for forgiveness and try not to repeat those mistakes in the future. **The second language of love: spending time with each other** If your spouse's love language is time, what she needs most is to make plans to be together and not avoid spending time with each other even in the most difficult situations. Such a wife will be happy if you buy her a very valuable gift, but if she knows that you took a lot of time to prepare a simple gift for her, she will enjoy it much more. For him, the most enjoyable part of the relationship is when you do something together. Go shopping, watch a movie or talk together. Also, the quality of the time you spend together is much more important than the quantity. It means being together and **loving each otherlanguage ** alone is not enough for him. He needs to have your full attention in the moment you are together. **The third language of love: receiving a gift** If your spouse's love language is receiving gifts, be happy. Because it is one of the easiest languages ​​you can learn. Your wife will be happy to receive any kind of gift, whether it is small and simple or big and valuable. So you can buy, find or make different gifts for your spouse. Even if you give him a flower branch from the garden or find a seashell for him from the beach, he considers this a sign of **expressing love and affection for his wife** and enjoys it. So if you see that your wife is very excited to receive any kind of gift, know that this is her love language. **The fourth language of love: mateship** If your **wife's love language** is spousal support, you can make her happy by offering services or doing things she likes. For example, some men enjoy it when their wife prepares lunch for them to take to work, and in this case, they feel that their wife loves them and they have a warm family and life. If your wife's **love language** is to serve, know that she does not intend to dominate and exert power over you, but she receives love this way and you can show your love as much as possible by doing her favorite things. To **express love and interest to your spouse** in this language, try to consider attention and help to someone or something that your spouse loves (an elder, a pet, or a social movement); Or help your wife watch her favorite TV show without any distractions (phone calls, children's affairs, etc.). **The fifth love language: physical contact** We all know that physical contact is a way to express love. Research has shown that babies who are held, cuddled and kissed have better mental and emotional health than babies who have been without any physical contact for long periods of time. Also, physical contact is a powerful means of **expressing love and affection to one's wife**. Holding each other's hands, kissing, hugging and having sex are all ways of expressing love to your spouse. For some people, physical contact is the main language of love. Without physical contact, they cannot feel love. But with physical contact, their love reservoir is filled and they feel secure about their partner's love for them. Among the five human senses, the sense of touch is the only sense that is not limited to a specific area. Touch receptors are present throughout the body. We can interpret a touch or pressure as hostility or love. As a result, physical contact can make or break a relationship. For a person whose main love language is physical contact, the message they receive through the sense of touch is much more meaningful than hearing expressions like "I hate you" or "I love you". In cohabitation, romantic touch may be in different ways. Since the sense of touch exists in the whole body, touching any part of your partner's body lovingly is a form of expressing love. Of course, this does not mean that all touches are the same. Some touches are more pleasurable for your partner. If you want to know which parts he enjoys the most, he is your best coach. He knows best what kind of touch he interprets as a love touch in his mind. Don't insist on touching her in your own way and at your own time. You must learn to speak his love language. Some touches may be annoying for your partner. Continuing such touches conveys the opposite of love. Do not assume that every touch that is pleasurable for you will also be pleasurable for him. summary When you are trying to understand your main love language, it is better to take a look at your past life and ask yourself: "What have I wanted from my spouse the most?" Most of what you've asked for is probably related to your primary language. If you are confused about finding your spouse's love language or yourself, you can talk to a couples therapist. Our specialists at Jan Ziba Clinic will be eager to help you and your spouse.