Why do I leave my work unfinished? Acquaintance with insufficient self-control schema

What is insufficient self-control schema and how is it treated?

Sometimes in life, we feel as if the reins of our behavior are out of our hands; We can't do the things we have to do and this inability makes us feel worthless, disgraced and incompetent.

Such a situation often originates from a mental pattern called "inadequate self-control schema"; A mental state that leads a person to restlessness, aimlessness and instant decisions. If the self-control schema remains insufficient, rooted and untreated, a person may be drawn to risky behaviors such as addiction, out-of-control sexual relations, betting or even illegal behaviors to escape psychological pressure. Behind this confusion, there is a deep need: that a person can manage his emotions properly and believe in himself.

What is the insufficient self-control schema?

Have you ever come across people who lose their temper very quickly or give up their work at the slightest pressure? Such reactions may be rooted in insufficient self-control schema. This mental pattern makes a person unable to direct his emotions properly and instead of making a conscious decision, he behaves suddenly and thoughtlessly.

Insufficient self-control schema is often formed from the early years of life; That is, when the child does not learn how to tolerate difficult emotions such as anger, sadness, or disappointment, or gets used to delaying gratification. As an adult, the result is a person who cannot concentrate on something, whose decisions are unstable and retreats as soon as he faces an obstacle.

In the depth of this problem, two important skills have been disturbed:

• One is the ability to control emotions and reactions in sensitive situations.
• And the other is resilience against difficult or tiring conditions until reaching the result.

Treatment or growth in this field requires strengthening emotional resilience, increasing tolerance against psychological pressures and trusting one's abilities to overcome difficult moments. With continuous practice, it is possible to change the destructive mental path and rebuild inner order.

Symptoms of insufficient self-control schema

Some people constantly feel restless during the day and cannot maintain their concentration; It's like their mind is always wandering. Boredom and apathy in doing daily tasks is one of the prominent signs in these people. Even simple tasks seem heavy and meaningless to them.

Such people can hardly stick to specific routines and planned goals. The feeling of inability to manage life prevents them from pursuing their goals. Sudden emotional reactions in emotional situations, hasty decisions and after that, frequent regrets are among their common behaviors.

Another obvious characteristic is the inability to bear emotional and mental pressure. In front of the slightest feeling of discomfort or anxiety, instead of confronting, they retreat and usually avoid responsibilities.

The noteworthy point is that most of these people do not consciously believe that "I must express every emotion" or "I have the right to act without thinking", but these behaviors come to them unconsciously and outside of their will.

Finally, it should be said that unlike many false mental patterns, people with an insufficient self-control schema usually have a desire to control their emotions and adhere to discipline, but these desires hardly last in practice, and most of the time, their efforts remain unfulfilled.

The root of insufficient self-control schema formation

Problems related to self-control and self-discipline usually begin in the early years of life. If we look at the past, we can often see the traces of this issue in the way parents raise their children.

Some children grow up in families where rules and structure are not defined for them. In these environments, whatever the child wants, it will be fulfilled immediately. As a result, he is never introduced to concepts such as patience, restraint, or demand management. Such children will hardly be able to control their emotions or have long-term planning in the future, because they have never had training for these skills.

On the other hand, there are children who grew up in very strict families. Their parents have high expectations, but they don't give their child the chance to experience the natural joys of childhood. They constantly force the child to study and take responsibility, leaving no time for play, creativity or relaxation. The result of this type of upbringing is often a hidden explosion; That is, in adulthood, a person escapes from control and order and compensates for his unexperienced childhood thirst with unrestrainedness and indiscipline.

In both cases, what is not formed is a person's ability to regulate emotions, control desires and create order in his life. In simpler words, a person has either never learned to control himself or has been so controlled that he now seeks absolute liberation.

The effect of insufficient self-control schema in life

Insufficient self-control schema can slowly question the quality of your life. Your mind is full of ideas, desires and passion, but the inability to direct this energy to a specific path, causes most of your projects to remain unfinished. Usually, you enter a path with great motivation, but very soon everything becomes repetitive and boring for you. The result? Abandoning tasks and falling into a cycle of postponing tasks.

Insufficient self-control schema not only causes disorganization and poor planning, but also reduces your tolerance for emotional pressure and discomfort. Instead of facing unpleasant emotions, you often tend to run away from them; It's like you're always looking for a way to reduce your mental burden, but not by solving the problem, but by avoiding it.

Effective methods to overcome insufficient self-control schema

The first step is to create order and structure in everyday life. Because those with this pattern usually have trouble setting a schedule, it is necessary to more seriously define frameworks for themselves. It is better to make a list of your daily activities every morning when you wake up and try to go according to it.

Breaking down large tasks into smaller parts helps to make things easier and more manageable. Also, avoid getting caught in the trap of perfectionism and let progress be the main goal instead of perfection.

For extra motivation, write down the consequences of procrastinating so you realize the importance of getting them done on time.

Finally, consulting a psychotherapist specializing in schemas can provide you with the necessary support and guidance to change this mental pattern.

Pirizi Clinic helps people to identify and correct insufficient self-control schema by using specialized methods and current psychology methods. In this center, by providing practical solutions and psychological support, patients learn how to have better control over their behaviors and emotions, and by increasing their inner capabilities, their quality of life improves.

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