The main reason for divorce of couples after having children

The main reason couples divorce after having children is often weakness in managing changes and new pressures that arise after the birth of a child. Some key factors are:

• Not being mentally prepared to accept new roles

• Chronic fatigue and physical stress

• Decreasing emotional connection and attention to spouse

• Ignoring the emotional and psychological needs of the couple

These factors can cause couples to gradually distance themselves from each other. Many problems intensify when the marital relationship suffers from relationship coldness, neglect or emotional and physical disconnection after having a child.

If you need a useful solution in the field of relationship coldness and decreased sexual desire, the article Decreased sexual desire in couples can provide useful guidance.

The effect of having a child on the emotional and psychological life of parents

Psychological and emotional changes after the birth of a child

The impact of having a baby on your life is not limited to physical changes or daily responsibilities. The entry of a child into the family greatly increases the level of stress, worries and sense of responsibility of the parents. These psychological changes can have a direct effect on the relationship of couples.

• Increased stress and anxiety: New parents often face anxiety related to their baby's health, feeding, sleep, and daily responsibilities. This anxiety can cause a decrease in patience and tolerance in interacting with the spouse.

• Persistent fatigue: Lack of sleep and nocturnal pressures reduce couples' ability to communicate effectively and maintain intimacy. Physical and mental fatigue may lead to violent behavior and misunderstanding.

• Feelings of helplessness or inadequacy: Parents may feel that they are not succeeding in the role of parent or spouse. This feeling increases the psychological pressure and becomes the basis for couples' tensions.

These changes are natural, but their management requires awareness, practice of communication skills and, if needed, the use of specialized services such as couple therapy and family counseling.

Effect on marital relationship

Marital relationship undergoes significant changes after having a child. Reducing shared time, daily pressures and focusing on the child's needs can lead to emotional distance.

• Decreased emotional connection: When parents focus too much on the child's needs, they may neglect each other's emotional needs.

• Changes in sexual desire: Hormonal changes, fatigue and psychological pressures sometimes cause a decrease in sexual desire.

• Misunderstandings and disagreements: When couples disagree about responsibilities or caring for the baby, the possibility of tension increases.

Effective strategies for maintaining intimacy include having romantic dates even at home, talking daily, and maintaining emotional support for each other.

Opportunities and personal development of parents

Despite the pressures, having a baby creates new opportunities for personal and relational growth.

• Increasing empathy and patience: Child care forces parents to develop patience and empathy skills.

• Enhance communication skills: The need to coordinate childcare and responsibilities increases conversational skills, active listening, and cooperation.

• Experience of joy and pleasure: Sweet moments and small achievements in raising a child increase the sense of satisfaction and motivation and increase the quality of family life.

In many cases, using expert guidance can help parents make the most of these opportunities. Specialized consultations such as individual counseling and personal development can pave the way for growth and adaptation to life changes.

Common problems in couples after the birth of a child

1. Lack of time for marital relationship: Focusing on the needs of the child limits the time the couple spends together.

2. Disagreement in parenting style: Sometimes parents have different opinions on child care and education methods.

3. Decreasing patience and tolerance: Fatigue and mental stress cause sudden behavior or quick judgment.

4. Feeling alone or neglected: When one parent feels that their needs are being ignored, emotional distance is created.

Suggestions include scheduling specific times for activities as a couple, constructively discussing differences, and taking advantage of couples and family counseling sessions.

Practical strategies for couples to adapt to having children

Establishing a balance between the role of parent and spouse

One of the biggest challenges after the birth of a child is the balance between the role of being a parent and being a wife. Parents often focus all their attention on the child and ignore each other's emotional and communication needs.

• Practical solution: Designating a specific time for two-person activities, even if it is short, like a morning coffee or a short conversation before bed, can maintain the connection.

• Advantage: This makes the couple feel that they are spouses in addition to being parents, and the emotional bond is strengthened.

For better management of this balance, sessions of couple therapy and family counseling are recommended.

Division of responsibilities and stress management

The birth of a child increases daily responsibilities and mental pressure. Lack of fair distribution of responsibilities is one of the main reasons for disagreements and decreased intimacy.

• Practical solution: Preparing a specific plan for dividing tasks such as feeding, bathing and sleeping the child.

• Using the help of others: Get help from family, friends or a babysitter to have personal and one-on-one time.

• Advantage: Reducing mental pressure, increasing satisfaction with married life and the opportunity to focus on the relationship.

Maintain emotional connection and constructive dialogue

After having a baby, daily and honest communication plays a key role in preventing emotional distance.

• Practical solution:

  1. Expression of feelings and needs without judgment.

  2. Actively listening to the words of the spouse.

  3. Remembering positive moments and small shared successes.

• Advantage: Continuous dialogue reduces misunderstandings and increases empathy. Couples counseling sessions can teach effective communication techniques.

Management of sexual changes after childbirth

Decreasing sexual desire and changes in sex life is one of the common challenges after the birth of a child. This issue can cause the relationship to cool down and cause tension.

• Practical solution:

  1. Understanding each other's physical and mental conditions.

  2. Maintaining non-sexual physical contact such as kissing or hugging.

  3. Setting the right time for sexual relations according to the conditions and energy of the parents.

• Advantage: These actions maintain intimacy and reduce emotional distance. For expert guidance, counseling in the field of relationship cooling is recommended.

Strengthening empathy and patience

The birth of a child provides a good opportunity to strengthen the skills of empathy and patience in couples.

• Practical solution:

  1. Practice active listening and understanding your spouse's feelings.

  2. Identifying moments of fatigue or mental stress and providing support.

  3. Practice appreciation of the wife's daily efforts.

• Advantage: Empathy and patience reduce tensions and increase satisfaction in life together.

Use of specialized resources and advice

Sometimes the challenges after the birth of a child go beyond everyday skills and require professional support.

• Options:

  1. Couples therapy for relationship problems.

  2. Family counseling to improve family interactions.

  3. Child and adolescent counseling for child behavioral issues.

  4. Individual counseling to manage parents' stress and anxiety.

• Advantage: Expert counseling makes couples, with knowledge and practical solutions, turn the changes caused by the birth of a child into opportunities.

• Summary and final advice for life after having a baby

  The importance of maintaining emotional connection in the long term

  After the birth of a child, it is natural for parents to focus on taking care of the child. However, maintaining and strengthening the emotional connection between couples is a long-term necessity. If the emotional connection decreases over time, the ground is provided for the cooling of the relationship, misunderstanding and even serious marital problems.

  • Practical solution: Continuing activities as a couple, holding romantic dates, regular and transparent conversation, and appreciating each other's efforts.

  • Advantage: These measures allow couples to maintain their sense of belonging and intimacy despite new responsibilities.

  To teach advanced communication techniques, Couple Therapy and Family Counseling sessions can be very helpful.

  Coping with mental pressure and parental stress

  The birth of a child brings with it mental pressure and stress that can cause emotional and physical problems in parents. Managing stress and mental pressure plays a key role in maintaining the health of the relationship and family.

  • Practical solution:

    1. Determining a short and personal rest time for each parent.

    2. Doing mindfulness and meditation exercises.

    3. Using the support of family and friends to reduce everyday pressures.

  • Advantage: Reducing the stress of parents provides the necessary energy to communicate with the spouse and take care of the child.

  If more in-depth stress management is needed, individual counseling or couple therapy is recommended.

  Maintaining marital satisfaction and preventing relationship cooling

  The cooling of the relationship after the birth of a child is one of the main reasons for differences and even divorce. Paying attention to the emotional and physical needs of the spouse is the key to preventing this situation.

  • Practical solution:

    1. Maintaining physical and emotional contact.

    2. Discussion about feelings and concerns.

    3. Equitable distribution of duties and responsibilities.

    4. Planning time for two and maintaining intimacy.

  • Advantage: These measures allow couples to maintain a healthy and meaningful relationship despite new changes and responsibilities.

  To get professional advice about relationship cooling, couples counseling sessions are very effective.

  Using experience and professional training

  One of the best ways to adapt to the changes caused by the birth of a child is to take advantage of experience and professional training. Professionals in the fields of psychology and family can provide practical solutions for managing responsibilities, improving communication, and emotional growth.

  • Options:

    1. Couple therapy to solve relationship problems.

    2. Family counseling to manage family dynamics.

    3. Child and adolescent counseling for behavioral issues and child development.

    4. Individual counseling to reduce parents' stress and anxiety.

  • Advantage: Professional training and experience of specialists enable couples to turn the changes after the birth of a child into opportunities for growth and strengthening of the relationship.

  Final summary

  The effect of having a child in life is deep and wide and includes psychological, emotional, behavioral and even physical changes. However, by being aware of these changes, practicing communication skills and using practical strategies, couples can maintain and strengthen their relationship.

  • Key points:

    1. Maintain emotional connection and honest conversation.

    2. Division of responsibilities and stress management.

    3. Allocation of time for two and joint activities.

    4. Maintaining intimacy and physical connection.

    5. Using expert advice for complex and deep issues.

  Jan Zeba psychology clinic is ready to accompany couples in this vital path by providing various services including couples, family, child and adolescent counseling and individual counseling. The presence of a specialist can make a big difference in the quality of family life and increase opportunities for personal and marital growth.

  Contact John Ziba Clinic:

  • Address: Shariati, next to Hosseinieh Irshad, Golnabi St., No. 49, 3rd floor, unit 31

  • Phone number: 021-26701544 021-22895248

  • Mobile: 09102036378

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