Informed answers to children's sexual questions

• Mansoura Nikogovtar
• July 17, 1404
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The content production team of John Ziba Psychology Clinicunder the supervision of

The importance of knowingly answering children's sexual questions

Answering children's sexual questions is one of the most important responsibilities of parents and caregivers. From a very young age, children begin to be curious about their bodies and others, and ask questions about gender, reproduction, emotional relationships, and sexual behaviors. The parents' reaction to these questions has a direct impact on the child's healthy psychological, emotional and sexual development. Reasons for the importance of an informed answer: Avoiding false information: Children who do not receive appropriate answers may receive wrong and harmful information from incorrect sources, peers or the Internet. This topic can cause confusion and sexual anxiety.

Parental strategies for informed answers

1. Hear the child's question completely:Before answering, let the child express his question completely. Active and non-judgmental listening makes the child feel supported.

2. Using age-appropriate language:Answers should be simple, clear and appropriate for the child's age. Explaining too much or being complicated may cause confusion.

3. Be honest and transparent:Never use lies or avoidance to answer. If you don't know an answer, you can say: "Let's research together and find the answer."

4. Focus on values and ethics:Besides the scientific explanation, you can also teach the concepts of respect, love, privacy and appropriate behavior with others.

5. Using the right educational resources:Books, educational videos and children's science resources can help to explain the topic to the child. be understandable and attractive.

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: sexual questions of children at different ages and how parents answer them

From the early stages of development to adolescence, children at any age experience a certain type of curiosity about the body and human relationships. Knowing these steps will help parents to give informed, scientific and appropriate answers to the child's understanding, so as to maintain a sense of security and prevent unnecessary worry or shame. 1. Infancy to three years old (body discovery stage)

At this age, the child still does not have a mental understanding of sexual concepts, but naturally begins to touch his body and feel the difference between the parts. At this stage, parents should:

• Consider the child's behavior as normal without negative reactions or punishment.

• When changing clothes or taking a bath, calmly talk about the parts of the body and give the correct names of the organs.

• If the child touches his body in a public place, kindly explain that this is private and should be done alone.

This work is the basis of teaching child's privacy and helps the child to be able to protect his body in the future.

👦 2. Preschool age (3 to 6 years old): Beginning of simple sexual questions

At this age, children usually ask:

• "Where did I come from?"

• "Where does mommy get the baby?"

• "Why are boys and girls different?"

In response to these questions:

• Use simple explanations. For example: "Babies grow in a special place in the mother's womb until they are ready to be born."

• Avoid giving unnecessary details. The goal at this age is to respond without provocation or complexity.

• If the child shows more curiosity, kindly say that you will talk more about it later.

At this age, the basic foundations of child sex education can be laid, but not in the sense of sex education; But getting to know the body, differences and respect for yourself and others. 3. Elementary school age (7 to 9 years old): formation of intellectual curiosity

At this stage, the child moves away from the world of imagination and seeks a more scientific understanding. He may ask questions about reproduction, marriage, or feelings between men and women. At this age, he should:

• Use scientific but simple language, for example with pictures or textbooks.

• Teach the concept of respecting other people's bodies and explain the line between good and bad touch.

• If the child hears wrong information from his friends, without judgment, calmly correct it.

The right answer at this age can prevent fear or embarrassment during puberty. It also helps the child protect himself from possible abuse — something parents are taught in child and adolescent counseling sessions.

🧒 4. Puberty (10 to 13 years old): the beginning of physical and emotional changes

At this stage, children notice their physical changes. They may ask questions about menstruation, voice changes, body hair growth, or emotional feelings toward the opposite sex.

Answers should include:

• a scientific explanation of body changes.

• reassurance that these changes are normal and a sign of healthy growth.

• talk about body respect, feelings, and responsibility. Behavioral.

• Introducing the concept of privacy and emotional responsibility in relationships.

At this age, parents can seek help from individual counseling or couple therapy so that they can talk about these issues without anxiety.

🧠 Conclusion This section

Answering sexual questions at different ages should not be just "answering" curiosity, but an opportunity for conscious upbringing, teaching respect, and creating the foundations of mental and moral health in the future. Every honest and calm answer is a building block for creating a safe and intimate relationship between parent and child.

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Parents' common mistakes in answering children's sexual questions

Parents' dealings with children's sexual questions is one of the most sensitive aspects of parenting. Many parents, due to a lack of awareness or cultural anxiety, give answers that inadvertently cause fear, shame, or unhealthy curiosity in the child. In the following, we will examine the most common errors and their alternative solutions.

The first mistake: silence or avoiding the answer

Many parents when the child asks:

"Where does the baby come from?" or "Why are the bodies of boys and girls different?" Don't ask me these things" they close the topic. This silence leads the child to the wrong sources (friends, internet, or social networks).

The right way:Respond calmly and in simple language. The goal at this age is not to give complete information; Rather, it's about creating a sense of security in asking questions. For example, say:

"That's a great question, because it shows you're learning about your own body. Children grow in the mother's womb until they are born."

With this simple answer, the child feels that his curiosity is accepted and does not need to be hidden. In parenting counseling sessions, parents are taught how to answer such questions without anxiety.

Second mistake: scaring or shaming. Child

Some parents with reactions like:

"Don't ask this question!" Ugly!" "A good child doesn't ask these things!"

They try to control the child's behavior. But the result is a feeling of guilt and shame towards the body. The child thinks his body is "something bad or dangerous" and later may avoid talking about sexual issues even in adulthood.

The right way:Respect for the body should be taught from childhood, not with fear but with awareness. You can say:

"Your question is good, but some things are private. I will explain to you so that you can understand correctly."

In this way, the child learns that the subject of the body is not hidden or forbidden but requires respect and privacy — a point that is very important in child sex education.

The third mistake: Giving too much or inappropriate information for the child's age

Some parents of The fear of the child's curiosity, they suddenly give very complete or adult explanations. This causes confusion and mental fear in the child because he is not yet able to process complex concepts. Each age has a stage of understanding:

• For 3-6 year olds: talk only about birth and the body.

• For 7-9 year olds: give simple scientific explanations.

• For teenagers: talk about feelings, respect and responsibility.

If you don't know what the right answer is, you can ask the experts at child counseling and Teen Get help learning scientific answers that match your child's understanding.

Laughing, joking, or trivializing the question

Some parents start laughing or joking when their child asks a question about genitalia or reproduction. This behavior makes the child think that the subject of the body is something funny or taboo. As a result, in the future, he may be embarrassed to express his real questions.

The right way:Try to answer seriously and respectfully even if the child's question is funny to you. You can say:

“Your question is interesting. This part of the body has an important job, and you need to learn how to take care of it."

This answer gives the child a sense of respect and security and strengthens his emotional relationship with you — a key factor in the formation of child's trust in parents.

Fifth mistake: entrusting education to others or the school

Some parents They think that sex education is the responsibility of the school or counselor and they should not interfere. While if the child feels that he cannot ask the parents, he takes refuge in external sources that are not always reliable.

Oh right:The main foundation of healthy sex education should be laid at home. Parents can learn with the help of family counseling how to create healthy sex conversations at home, without anxiety and Judgment.

Parents should know that every child's sexual question is a golden educational opportunity. The goal is not to prevent curiosity but to direct it. Each conscious response builds a bridge between "trust" and "education." If the child gets answers at home, he will no longer look for wrong answers outside.

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How do I answer questions about my child's sex?

Sexual questions answered Children, especially when it comes to sex, need to be careful, honest, and consider the child's age and level of understanding. The most important principle in this field is to keep calm and avoid emotional or punitive reactions. If your child raises a question about sex, first you need to understand what exactly he means and where he got his information from. Many children use words that they do not know their real meaning, so explaining the concepts should be done in simple language, without unnecessary details and appropriate to the age of the child. At a young age, instead of focusing on sex, it is possible to talk about topics such as affection, intimacy and the role of parents in the birth of a child. In the face of children's questions about sex, the atmosphere should not be embarrassing or scary. When the child feels that the parents are embarrassed or uncomfortable talking about these issues, he may seek answers to his questions from incorrect and unhealthy sources. Instead of avoiding it, it's better to show your parents as a reliable source of information and use this opportunity to teach family values, respect for your body and others, and the importance of satisfaction in relationships. This type of conversation will not only increase the child's awareness, but it will be a healthy foundation for his future relationships.

Sexual education guide and answers to children's questions based on age group

Age group, educational topics, common sexual questions for children under 5 years old - Teaching body parts and gender differences - Teaching dressing and personal hygiene - Teaching simple concepts such as "My body is mine." Question about the names of body parts and the difference between boys and girls 6 to 9 years old - Teaching puberty changes and simple physical changes - teaching privacy and maintaining physical security - teaching healthy relationships and communicating with others - teaching how to give birth in simple language, questions about how children are born, why the body changes, questions about privacy. 10 to 12 years - more complete education about puberty changes and hormonal changes - teaching healthy and safe sexual behaviors - teaching responsibility in friendships, questions about hormonal changes, friendships and sexual relationships, safe and appropriate behaviors in relationships.

Answer Answering the questions of teenagers about having children

Answering the questions of teenagers about having children requires an informed, respectful and at the same time practical approach. When a teenager asks, "How do people have children?" It is necessary for parents to keep calm and enter into the conversation without shying away. It is better to start the conversation with a simple question, for example: What do you think about this? This helps parents understand how much information the teen has and what kind of answers he or she is looking for. To answer this question, we can say: "When a man and a woman decide to become mothers and fathers, the man's sperm enters the woman's body and if it fertilizes one of the woman's eggs, that cell inside the uterus begins to grow and eventually turns into a baby." But the answer to children's curiosity about sex does not end only in physical aspects. Parents must also deal with the emotional and moral part of this issue. It is important to say that sex is not just a physical process, but a kind of emotional and responsible relationship that should be done with consent, mutual respect and psychological preparation. The end of this conversation can be accompanied by a soothing sentence: "Whenever you had a question or something was unclear to you, I would be happy to talk about it together. The fact that you ask me means that you trust me, and this is very valuable."

talk Talking to teenagers about sexual issues

Children's curiosity about having children

Children's curiosity about having children is usually formed from a young age by observing the pregnancy of others around them, the birth of a baby, or hearing the conversations of elders. They may ask simple questions like "Where are the kids from?" or "How do mothers put babies in their stomachs?" Surprise parents. In these cases, the answers to children's sexual questions should not be evasive, embarrassing or unrealistic, but should be appropriate to the child's age, in simple and understandable language. Saying that "mom and dad together give birth to a baby and the baby grows in mom's womb" can be a sufficient answer for a young child. This method both answers the child's curiosity and creates a foundation for deeper conversations in the future.

The best time to answer children's sexual questions

The best time to answer children's sexual questions is the moment the child raises a question; Because at that time his mind is ready to receive the answer and his curiosity is activated. Delaying or ignoring the question may cause the child to seek answers from inaccurate and unreliable sources. However, the type and amount of response should be appropriate to the child's age, level of understanding and manner of expression. The key point is for parents to create a safe, intimate and non-judgmental atmosphere so that the child does not feel ashamed or afraid and knows that he can turn to the parents with his questions in the future.

Complete list of children's questions with answers

Here are some common and important questions children have about sex with short, honest and suitable answers for young children to teenagers. These answers help parents to provide correct and appropriate information to the child or teenager without embarrassment.

1. How are children born?

Answer: Children first grow as a very small cell inside the mother's stomach. When they are complete, they are born with the help of a doctor.

2. How do mothers put the baby in their stomach?

Answer: When a husband and wife decide to have a baby together, a very small piece of the man's body (sperm) unites with a small piece of the woman's body (egg) and the baby begins to grow in the woman's womb.

3. What does sex mean?

Answer: Sex is a physical and intimate relationship between an adult man and woman in which their bodies come very close. This relationship can lead to the birth of a child, but it only happens between adults who are ready.

4. Can children also have sex?

Answer: No, sex is only for adults. Children's bodies and minds are not yet ready for this kind of relationship, and they need to learn and grow a lot first.

and the reaction to children's sexual questions

5. Why shouldn't anyone see my body?

Some parts of the body like hands and face can be seen by everyone, but some parts of the body are private and these sensitive parts of the body belong to each person. If someone tried to touch the body and sensitive points, you should inform us.

I saw my child during the play doctor, who is showing himself

When children show me their body and play doctor and you see this scene, your reaction should be non-punitive, intelligent and calm, so you should not shout or say this, of course, this will make your child feel ashamed. And in the future, he will not be able to talk to you in necessary and abusive situations, so be sure to control your coolness and anger.

The next step is to finish the opening calmly without accusing and serious tone. At the same time, you need to explain to your child the importance of privacy. For example, you can say that you should not show private parts to anyone and then tell the exceptions to the child, only parents can help you in times of need, such as illness, with permission. When your child over 5 years old is going to play in a group, clearly define the child's limits. For example, you can say play but don't take off your clothes. If he is forced and threatened by an adult, you need to consult with a child and adolescent counselor. In our clinic, you can have a face-to-face consultation with Child and Adolescent Counseling in Tehran or use the online consultation service of John Ziba Clinic.

View The child's body in the game doctor and how to talk and immediate training privacy

How to name the genitals for children

Pay special attention to how to name the genitals for children and the best thing is to tell the children its scientific name instead of using slang and code words. Explain briefly and simply in a kind tone. Another important point is privacy that must be maintained. For children under 5 years of age, you can say the penis for boys and the vagina for girls so that the child knows his body better and can talk about it. Avoid using words like things because it causes confusion when it is very necessary and misused. Many other families use the term private parts, which should not cause shame, fear and taboo in your child. Also, avoid using too many words in naming.

Serious psychological consequences of choosing words with a negative charge

Using words with a negative charge will have a very bad effect on your child's life.

Decreasing self-esteem and sense of worth: When words with a negative charge are used, it is said to have a severe impact on the child's self-esteem and can cause very negative effects on the child's future and psychological life.

Feeling of guilt: He suppresses his sexual impurity and healthy curiosity, which can become a problem in adulthood.

Reduction of sexual abuse: In dangerous situations, sexual abuse, such as naming a bad genital organ, is formed in the child's mind. The same age will lead him astray.

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