How to deal with people with entitlement schema?

When you own everything: a look at the entitlement schema

Sometimes in life, people feel they deserve special conditions, special facilities or access to the best. This type of attitude, if it remains in balance, can contribute to self-confidence and a sense of worth; But some people go further. They always put themselves first and think that everything should be in their favor, without understanding or paying attention to the wishes and feelings of others.

When this way of thinking becomes intense and becomes a stable pattern in the personality, we are faced with a concept in psychology called Entitlement Schema. The schema of entitlement can make a person's view of the world, others, and even himself undergo deep changes and form a behavior that is boring and annoying for those around him.

In the continuation of this article, we will examine the different dimensions of entitlement schema, its hidden signs and the effects it has on relationships and lifestyle. If you want to know whether these features are rooted in you or not, stay with us.

What does schema mean?

Entitlement schema definition

Entitlement schema is an ingrained mental attitude in which a person unconsciously considers himself worthy of special situations, special privileges, and privileged behaviors, without having made an effort for them or paying attention to the needs of others. Such a person thinks that the world and the people around him should act according to his wishes and expectations.

People who are trapped in the entitlement schema usually have a domineering behavior and tend to control others. They are indifferent to the feelings of others and are often interested in being seen, admired, and receiving attention. The interesting thing here is that these same people show a sharp, nervous and unpredictable reaction to the slightest criticism or opposition.

Examples of Entitlement Schema

If you feel inside that you always have to come first and have higher expectations than usual, you may be dealing with a hidden aspect of the entitlement schema. In the following, we mention some examples of behavior that can indicate the schema of entitlement:

• You believe that rules and restrictions are designed for others, not for you. You consider yourself an exception and you think that the rules should not stand in your way.
• When someone asks you for help, you feel an extra burden on your shoulders and you may even get upset; But in a situation where you need to be accompanied by yourself, you expect others to be at your service unconditionally.
• Unconsciously, you expect the people around you to consider your interests and preferences more important than their own wishes and behave according to your wishes.

If these behaviors are familiar to you, maybe it's time to take another look at how you treat others.

Eligibility Schema Marks

People who are involved in the schema of entitlement or grand secretary often have certain behavioral and thought patterns that distinguish them from others. In the following, we mention some of the behavioral characteristics of such people:

• Hearing "no" is very heavy and unbearable for them; As if this word hurts their pride.
• They feel alienated by the rules that have been established for the general society and think that they should be exempted.
• Even when they make a mistake, they hardly accept it; Because they think that admitting a mistake means damaging their position.
• They consider their wishes as a kind of special and distinct need that others should understand, even if they themselves do not pay any attention to the wishes of others.
• Always give priority to themselves, even in public or group situations.
• They are often known by those around them with labels such as egotistical, proud or controlling.
• They don't like the orders and advice of others and they don't want anyone to set boundaries for them.
• They are indifferent to the feelings and needs of others, but when their own feet are involved, they act sensitively and carefully.
• When they cannot go according to their wishes, they quickly become agitated and angry, as if the world is standing against them.

If you see such characteristics in yourself or those around you, you may be facing a schema that hides deeper wounds under the appearance of self-confidence.

Roots of entitlement schema formation

Before starting any type of treatment, psychologists seek to discover the reasons for the emergence of a mindset that leads a person to self-centeredness and a sense of superiority. This mentality, which is usually formed from childhood, is the result of certain experiences related to the needs and interaction with parents.

Some children grow up in families where their needs are either over-satisfied or, on the contrary, neglected. In both cases, the ground is provided for the formation of mental disorders.

In the following, we point out some effective factors in the emergence of this type of extreme self-view, i.e. entitlement schema:

1. Creating strong dependence on parents

Some parents, by taking extreme care and making big and small decisions instead of their child, unintentionally make the child think that he is the center of the world. Such a child expects others, like his parents, to fulfill his wishes without any reason.

2. Boundless freedom in childhood

When the family does not set any limits for the child and does not teach him responsibility, the child will come to believe that he should not be limited. Such a person continues the same view as an adult and expects others to work for him to achieve his goals.

3. Covering other mental injuries

In some cases, a sense of entitlement is only a mask; A person who is faced with feelings of shame or emotional repression from the inside, plays the role of a powerful and superior person to hide these wounds. In fact, this false sense of superiority is a shield to escape from inner pain.

Solutions to deal with entitlement schema

When we are faced with people who consider themselves superior to others, we should consider the following points:

• Don't expect unconditional compliance.
• Set clear boundaries to prevent abuse.
• Don't take responsibility for their expectations and beliefs.
• Let them face the realities of life and experience unpleasant feelings such as anger and sadness.
• Empathize with them and if possible, help them to abandon this thought pattern.

It is important to know that this way of thinking has advantages for the person and for this reason, it is very difficult to change it. Most of those who are in this situation are not ready to admit that they have a problem or seek treatment; Therefore, they show high resistance to change.

Usually, people with a self-righteous mentality only visit a psychologist when someone around them insists or obliges them.

The best way to deal with this situation is to seek help from an expert. By identifying the root of the problem, the therapist corrects the false beliefs and offers appropriate treatment methods to gradually reduce the negative effects of this pattern.

Summary

In this article, we carefully examined the concept of entitlement schema, its identification symptoms, coping strategies and related treatment methods. This type of incompatible schema, especially secretary, can hinder individual growth and create healthy relationships in society. But there is no need to worry; Because with the use of specialized methods of schema therapy and sufficient persistence, it is possible to change and improve. By reviewing your lifestyle and attitudes, you can overcome these destructive patterns and reduce the damage to your relationships.

Pirizi Clinic, with a team of experienced psychologists and therapists who specialize in recognizing and treating schemas, provides you with a safe and supportive environment. In this clinic, using scientific methods and proven treatments, the roots of the entitlement schema are identified and a treatment plan tailored to each person's condition is designed. Ongoing companionship and individual and group counseling will help you correct false beliefs and replace them with healthy coping skills. Pirouzi Clinic believes that every person has the right to a quality life and positive relationships, and makes every effort to achieve this goal for its clients.

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